Like A Spider

This has always been a personal favourite. And as I try to get my life sorted and packed and ready to get on a plane and, to an extent, start again, I've been hearing the echoes of these thoughts. Sometimes they are just a soft murmur, other times so loud they take over and cloud my ability to think rationally so that everything seems too hard, and I feel that I don't know who I am or what I'm doing, or even what I want to be doing. At times like those I still feel a bit like a spider, drunk and lost in its own web.

Poem 20, Like A Spider, 19th September, 2002
oh the eternal
madness
the war that is
never ending
when will it stop?

Let me go &
loose the grip
I don’t want this
any more.
let me out.
Let me out of
the eternal
madness and
run from the
war never ending.

I never asked for
it to be like this
what a spinning
mess -
like a spider,
drunk and lost
in its own web.