Matthew asked me if I would ever post something on my blog that I didn't label as a rant. If the genre markers of a rant are angst and the phrases "can I just say..." and "at the end of the day..." and "I'm not racist, but, then this is not a rant. If a rant is a declaration based on the individual's life experience, then maybe it is. At any rate I have tried to branch out and today I am mixing up my genres a bit and colouring my post/rant with some positivity and a sprinkling of a bible study...
1 “Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor ,
has always both comforted and terrified me. Comforting because God has love for those the world forgets, because he has other plans and other blessings. Terrifies me because I think what if I'm too secure, to fortunate to really rely on God and experience the joy of his love. What if I have to be broken and desolate, rejected and remain childless before I truly value my salvation. Because a significant part of me, perhaps all of me, doesn't want an uncomfortable life. I wonder which of my securities I could survive without. Which of my possessions are actually luxuries and if I would ever be willing to let them go, should I be required to. But a willingness to submit to personal hardship, to make a sacrifice, great or small is not my thought for the day.
My thought for the day is am I in love with God. Don't get me wrong, I love him very much, and I am very thankful and I plan to ever be developing my understanding of him, through his word. But am I in love with him? In my academic, intellectually leaning Sydney Anglican heart/soul/mind, is there any room for emotionalism, for passion and excitement. Because this week I as I stumbled actross Isaiah 54 on Monday night, attended my pastorate at HTB on Tuesday, and a lecture on William Tyndale and the English Bible on Wednesday night at Christ Church Kensington, I've become (re)aware of the fact that both these things, a biblically informed understanding and a healthy dose of emotions need to be apparent.
Leaning too much in either way isn't really going to be helpful. In the same way that marrying someone and saying "well I'm in love with this person and our marriage is going to be grand because we're in love and will be for the next 50 years" is probably a bit naive, or that it would be a little cold hearted and odd to say "well, marrying this person is mutually convenient, because its much easier to shop and cook for two and have this person around to share the housework with and having someone to help me fill out my tax return would be a bonus, and of course we'll hang out occasionally because its good to have someone to chat to", it would be naive and weird to treat God and my relationship with him like that.
Sometimes I know I've been scared of too much emotionalism, too much of things that seem like superstition. Sure, God gave me a brain and I didn't sign over my rational capabilities in return for salvation, but he also gave me heart (and he gave me a smile, he gave me Jesus and he made me his child etc). So I hope as I indulge the part of my brain that likes to learn and know, that I will, as a result, keep falling in love with the God of the bible.
4 “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5 For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,” says your God.
7 “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,”
says the LORD your Redeemer.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5 For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,” says your God.
7 “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,”
says the LORD your Redeemer.
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